He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
