How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We have started to decorate penises.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
