yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
