Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
areolas are like halos for boobs.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My breasts were aching with rage.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
