My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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