Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I supernannyed him into submission
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
