Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
