His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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