Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
