oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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