This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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