she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
