Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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