she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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