Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
