You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
