therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
too bad you live with your parents still
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
