id be glad to
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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