everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
