Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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