What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
