Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
