i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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