okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
