So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
