I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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