Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
