threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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