i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
