Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you would pick up someone in the library
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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