do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
