Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
you never un-have a 4some
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
