Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
