The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
