Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
