If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
