love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
