When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
