its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
