brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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