the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
