playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
