another moral hangover. fuck.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
