barbara walters just said penis...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
