I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
