So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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