Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
