I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
