Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
