He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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