dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
